Marisa and Patchouli
by Yuuki F
Summary: Not straightforward Marisa x Patchouli. Marisa chats and steals from Patchouli.


Except for the far distant sounds of the hollowing winds from deep within the confines of Voile's Library, it was another silent day. Patchouli found herself quietly transcribing notes from a very old book, while a witches' ball dimly lit the area around her. It was a calm and stoic scene, and one in which only those with utmost patience could endure and thrive in its rustic routine. And it was here, only in this abstract and virtual sense akin to the books that surrounded her, where Patchouli could survive, despite a frail and withering body.

Today she had gotten word that Rinnosuke came across a new load of books that miraculously seeped their way through Gensokyo's border. This isn't as unusual as it sounds, every blue moon something is bound to drop in. However, Patchouli didn't have much hope for them, as most of the time it's a shipment of some religious text they already have in the library, or some very technical book which, if it can be smuggled without a youkai's knowledge, makes its way to the human village sooner or later. Nonetheless, she sent Koakuma to check them out.

This left Patchouli philosophizing on the annoyances of life, _The necessities of physical form are not very accommodating, as there is constant mental exertion on the most trivial of tasks: breathing, bowels, blood flow, bathing, eating, sleeping, etc.. It is a waste of energy and most importantly time, and the thought that a third of one's life is approximately spent sleeping is quite irritating._

_However, even if I were a ghost the fare would be no less. For dealing with society requires a similar silly exercise, and a simple conversation can be a very complex thing, each meeting with a different set of etiquette and protocol to insure one can get what they want. The way I have to deal with Flandre, Sakuya, Koakuma, and now Marisa and the many others who come to seek what I know must all be dealt with differently._

_But at most, I would really only rather deal with Flandre, Sakura, and Koakuma. At least they understood my social tendencies and are very gracious to deal with what others would possibly consider eccentricities, like simply staring an unknown guest down rather than introducing oneself, or abruptly ending a discussion by leaving. It's like I'm being mean, I'd just rather be left alone to read my books rather than asking, "Oh, would you like some tea? Yes, thank you, please, hello dear sir, goodbye madaam. How's the weather? My oh my, how dreadfully frightening!"_

This line of thinking was making Patchouli visibly angry, _Honestly, I'd rather be left alone._

She heard some light footsteps in the distance, echoing down the shelves of the library, _It must be Sakuya. I hadn't realized a day had passed already._

She kept reading as the comparatively bright light guided Sakuya down the corridors of Voile, _Wait, there are two sets of footsteps. Did Flandre come as well? That's odd._

She turned around to give a glance, indeed finding Sakuya, but with another unwelcome guest.

Patchouli pointed at the wildy grinning Marisa, commenting in her usual weak voice, "Sakuya, I thought she was not welcome here."

"The young mistress allowed it," Sakuya raised the plate she was carrying, "I have brought your afternoon tea."

Patchouli went back to reading, _Please leave with Sakuya-Please leave with Sakuya-Please leave with __Sakuya-_

Sakuya served the tea and cookies on the table Patchouli was reading on and quietly left.

Marisa noisily grabbed a chair to sit backwards in, stuffed a handful of cookies in her mouth and yelled, "YO!"

_Spontaneously combust-Spontaneously combust-Spontaneously combust-_

Marisa was still in one piece.

Patchouli could now only continue to pretend to read, _Great, now she'll keep talking at me, even though I give her no feedback and it'll probably be some very overblown immoral adventure she got herself into. And she's spreading cookie crumbs all over the books too. Ugh, I won't be able to concentrate on this either. Such a waste of time._

Marisa continued her diatribe, mis-attributing Patchouli's normal behavior to let her continue, "Alice has been getting very clingy lately, so I went to go see Reimu-I guess you'd know her as Ms. Red-and-White."

She paused for a moment to swallow, "Anyways," she now began picking crumbs out of her teeth, "Along the way I saw Rinnosuke, and he started yakking about this new shipment that arrived-"

Patchouli lightly grasped her face with her hand, _Crap! Knowing how things end up with Marisa, now Koakuma might be in trouble._

"And-" Marisa interrupted herself, "You alright?"

Patchouli sighed, "Continue."

"Right, so Rinnosuke was yakking about this new shipment that arrived and how it was full of these religious texts, so I'd thought I'd borrow one..."

_'Borrow'_, Patchouli noted.

Marisa reached into her hat and pulled out a small red book called entitled The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, "It's hilarious!" She reached over for another handful of cookies before continuing, "I can't believe they actually believe this stuff out there!"

_Now she's spraying crumbs everywhere again._

"I'd thought you'd like a look at it," she threw it on top of a stack of books on her desk accidentally toppling it over, "Whoops."

Marisa got up to place the books haphazardly on top of the desk after which she sighed heavily to return to her seat and teeth picking, "There you go."

Patchouli peered over at the stacks, _Well,those USED to be organized...Ugh, There's got to be something to get her to leave..._

"And what did Reimu say?"

Marisa looked over at Patchouli, "Huh?"

Patchouli said, in a slightly louder and more irritated tone, "WHAT DI-" she started coughing, talking so loudly was not a good idea for one with her conditions.

"I heard you the first time, why would I go talk to her?"

Marisa gave Patchouli some time to recover her voice, "You were originally going to talk to her."

Marisa snapped her fingers, "Oh, that's right!"

Marisa started getting up, "I should probably go before it gets too late then, oh hey, you can keep that," she pointed at the novelty book.

She waved, walking out of the library, "Take care of yourself, alright? Well, see ya-ze!"

And soon after the library was silent again, Patchouli analyzed the carnage. Small bits of crumbs everywhere, her organized piles scattered, and probably five cookies left.

She took another look at the piles again, sighing in disbelief, _I should have expected it._

There were two less books than before, _At least she was considerate enough to take them from the pile I've already read._

_But then again, that means she knows that I organize things by piles..._

_That means that...she planned this from the start._

Patchouli leaned back and sighed, staring up at the vast dark sky that was the library's ceiling for a long time, slowly dissipating her anger through the knowledge of inevitability.

_Well, at least the days are a little more interesting when she does come..._

Patchouli left it on that little happy note and enjoyed what remained of her day.

Until Koakuma brought back a second copy of The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.


End file.
